I once told a straight girl I loved her. I am living in the woods now. Forever. Now I hook up with freaking lesbo vampires.

'you look like a little porcupine when you sleep'

I ship Vauseman, Cophine & Paily to death.
  • I think I’ve found the girl of my dreams.

    0 Notes
    #personal
    #p
  • shangoskel:

    megsokay:

    Is it weird that I think Kristen Stewart’s “scandal” was the best thing that ever happened to her career? Nay, her life? 1) She no longer had to be the perfect YA princess 2) As an extension of that, she no longer has the stress that 99% of all famous people have: to stay famous.

    She survived the crucible. What can the press do to her now? She can say and do as she likes. The stress of being perfect no longer exists. So what if she says something controversial? So what if she doesn’t toe the Twilight line? She can still work in indies and be herself. Now, she no longer looks terrified or overcome by stress. Again, she no longer HAS to be perfect. She’s free in a way that say, Emma Stone, Lupita Nyong’o, and Jennifer Lawrence still aren’t. You like her or you don’t. And if you don’t, you just fuck off. 

    It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s fucking great.

    Plus Camp X-Ray looks hella good.

    (Source: ohstewarts, via mamrieslaugh)

  • stiffshots:

    Old joke, new spin.

    (via sarahmac2301)

  • angle-of-depression:

    nothingcorporate:

    opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

    everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

    But all you ever see are men’s

    (Source: uncooler, via sarahmac2301)

  • Poussey Washington being painfully adorable

    (Source: oliviepope, via maslanybrochus)

  • lost-in-ikea:

    glam00ur:

    all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

    1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

    2. we can’t all be usain bolt

    3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

    4. i had pe first period do you blame me

    5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

    6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

    7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

    8. #YOLO

    9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

    10. there was a freak yachting accident

    11. i am a fucking retard

    12. this is just for my wall

    13. do you even read these

    14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

    15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

    16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

    17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

    18. traffic jammy jammy jam

    19. how can i go to school when alex turner

    20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

    21. i was sticking it to the man

    22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

    23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

    24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

    25. my meth lab caught fire

    26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

    27. i was sad

    28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

    29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

    30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

    31. 2 kool 4 scool

    32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

    33. i tried

    34. i’m sorry i’m late

          it’s not my fault

          my auntie was killed

          and i joined a cult

    35. a haiku about lateness:

    late late late late late

    late late late late late late late

     late late late late late

    36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

    37. i was fashionably late

    38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

    39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

    40. do

    41. you

    42. even

    43. read

    44. these

    45. i was fighting al qaeda

    46. traffic

    YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

    the post that doesn’t age

    (Source: artfucker1996, via only-rainbows-after-rain97)

  • The adventures of a cute little doodle!  by ELYXtroqman | Instagram

    Here is “ELYX“, a cute little doodle wandering through Paris, France as well as various parts of the world through the sketchbook of YAK, its creator, who draws his mascot for more than 3 years! Some adorable, funny and creative adventures to follow on his Instagram account or on his website: ELYX.

    (Source: asylum-art, via believeyouwillsucceed)

  • EBro Shoulder Appreciation

    danasoupchef:

    image

    There are many other shots of her shoulders, but this my absolute favorite.

    (via only-rainbows-after-rain97)

  • dustinmathisen:

    ptgreat:

    nickcarragay:

    petition to make young adult authors stop writing about girls whose lives change when they meet a boy

    When she saw him time slowed to a stop.  He was so perfect and she knew her life would never be the same because she had finally found him.  The one.  The first boy she would ever kill.

    image

    (via bree--bree)

  • l3ts-cuddl3:

    fakedean:

    I don’t know anything about Night Vale but this is beautiful

    Holy shit

    (Source: sickassbonedragon, via fueledbyfinchel)

  • 2014 so far

    thesmashbro:

    fabuloushetahungary:

    toroheicho:

    omidtheamnesiacender:

    punished-gagsy:

    anguisant:

    the-internet-addict:

    smallvagina:

    kawaiiibatman:

    smallvagina:

    January: Selfie Olympics

    February: Flappy Bird

    lets see how the rest of the year goes

    March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio

    image

    April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone

    May:

    image

    June:

    image

    Wonder how July is gonna be

    i will keep reblogging this each month

    July:

    image

    August:
    image

    (via fueledbyfinchel)

    • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
    • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
    • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
    • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
    • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
    • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
    • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
    • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
    • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
    • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
    • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
    • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
    • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
    • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
    • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
    • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
    • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
    • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
    • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
    • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
    • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
    • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
    • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
    • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
    • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
    • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
    • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
    • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
    • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
    • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
    • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
    • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
    • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
    • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
    • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
    • Cows: The shit you go through.
    • This post: Started off as a post that explained different governments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
    • Achievement Hunter: You have one cow and he gets put in a hole.
    • Captain America: You have two cows, one is brainwashed and the other falls out of plane. The first jumps out after him. Everyone cries a lot.
    • Hannibal Lecter: Doesn't have any cows, but somehow still has hamburger
    • Will Graham: Rescues 2 cows and 5 more dogs. He now has 13 dogs and 2 cows living on his property. This is his design
  • (My) one and only sweetness. #simplepleasures #gosseralocal #gatsnomesgarrapeu #cat #wellilovecats

    0 Notes
    #simplepleasures
    #cat
    #gosseralocal
    #wellilovecats
    #gatsnomesgarrapeu
  • steelbison:

    Finding lots of art I haven’t posted before. Here’s a little caribou herd sketch. #Caribou #CopicArt

    (via paulinasayz)